Back from the break...(friendships)

 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. Job 2:11

Several people have heard of our story. Many come to see, to meet, to hear..but few stay for the ride. It is like nothing you know, unless you live it. It is like nothing you can understand fully, unless you have tasted it. It is a desperate plea to be loved and a fierce rejection of that love. It is to function without answers, to invest with no guarantee of ANY return. It is to attempt to fill while being empty.

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 1 Samuel 18:1-3 

I use to be the girl that once you crossed, I never knew your name again. I lived in a place of hurt, so if you crossed me in even a minor way, you reaped the backlash of the open wound. Anything you did that was positive was outweighed by your negative actions. Period. I judged myself by the same standards. They are impossible standards to live by and I am thankful for the people that challenged them and helped me let go of that several years ago...and I am thankful I did. 
Two friendships have ended in the last 6 months, one was an older friendship, one was a newer one. They ended for completely different reasons. The older one I know can be restored, there is a foundation there to build on and while both sides have been hurt, I completely believe it is fixable. Regardless of what happens to that friendship, the last few months will not dictate my memories of her. I choose to remember the time of support, the times of compassion-even without fully understanding, I choose to remember the heartfelt, late-night talks on the phone, in person or on text. I choose to focus on everything that was good, and realize we were both under immense stress during the last few months and neither were at our "A game" of friendship. I choose to remember everything I gained, nothing that was loss. I choose to believe that it can be rebuilt. We are bound by tears and prayers and while everything has felt chaotic the last few months- I hold to those tears and prayers and the spirit of unity that was there.
The newer friendship ended for vastly different reasons, and while those things are never easy, it was completely for the best. Often as military wives, we feel the need to either be completely stand off, and not dive into a community or to dive right in head first, much faster than typically socially acceptable. The time limits of an expected duty station can be as little as 1 year, our husbands can also be deploying and we might pack up and head home. Sometimes (like in this area) the base is large enough and the options vast enough you can stay put for 10 or more years. We just never know. We all feel this sense of  time limit or shortness to our lives in all areas. Sometimes we jump in too fast with friends, only to realize it is not a good fit. Sometimes, we jump in believing we are on the same page, only to find out you aren't. It doesn't mean there are any hateful feelings or animosity, it just means it wasn't the right fit. While these 2 friendships are completely different, ended differently and have almost nothing in common, the one thing they do share is my steadfast resolve to remember the positive, learn from it all, hold to what was gained.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” ~C.S. Lewis

How are we defining survival? Air, water, food? I understand what he is saying, I do-but having parenting two children with RAD, while parenting 3 children without RAD and having a husband deployed-I absolutely put friendship on my survival list.  It is right up there with air, water and food. It makes it all worth it? It makes it all possible! I am so thankful for my circle of friends, it is every changing and morphing and I am ever learning and being challenged and I am grateful for the things you share with us, the support, the prayers, the like experiences. I am grateful for what I have gained and my family has gained because of you sharing of yourselves.