Guest Post: "When the Holidays Hurt" and "Legacy"....

by Beth Humphrey 

"When the Holidays Hurt"

One year ago today, we found out that dad's cancer diagnosis from the day before was stage IV...and I remember the numbness, the rawness, the feelings of total helplessness and despair. I remember standing in line in all the stores (because none of us had done any Christmas shopping yet) for the next 3 days, just looking around me and wondering if the person in front of me in line, or the cashier, or the greeter was going through something as devastating as me...were they dying inside? Was someone dear to them dying, or hurting or addicted, or any other assortment of tragic things??? Were others, like me, when asked, "How are you?" by well-meaning cashiers, blankly replying with "I'm fine", because the magnitude of the pain was so great that if one word of it left my lips, the rest would pour out of my eyes and drown us all?  

I still feel this way, and wonder these things, and I am sure there are others out there with gaping wounds that are walking around on the verge of crumbling...  

So, especially during this Christmas season, when hurts are magnified, flames of anger are fanned, patience is practically non-existent...
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
And thank you and I love you all for the love and kindness you have shown me, and continue to show, through all of this...you have blessed me beyond words...♥

"Legacy"

This past year has been a difficult one for our family...

My precious daddy was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer just four days before last Christmas. He spent 3 weeks in the hospital in New Bern, NC, and came to our home on hospice in January. On February 28th, just 2 days after his 81st birthday, he went to be with Jesus. His death has left a gaping hole in our family...we miss him terribly...

I would like to share my dad’s legacy with you...it is this:

1. Love God.
2. Love others.

As I watched this strong, vibrant, retired Marine become bedridden and unable to do for himself, I saw more clearly than ever what his life was truly about: loving and giving. Everyone who came into his room (even if they were toting a needle or a respiratory torture device) was greeted by his warm smile, and left with a handshake and a “thank you”. I will never forget the depth of love in his eyes as he expressed his appreciation to those caring for and visiting him...it was pure and holy and not of this world...

Daddy loved gospel music, and it played a lot of the time in his room. He would just close his eyes and listen and worship quietly. But even in death, as in life, he lived out his faith by doing...and when you are unable to “do”, you can still love, which is really the greatest thing you can possibly “do” anyway...

When it all is said and done... 

when all your money 

          all your accomplishments

          all your desire

can’t buy another minute of life... 

It all boils down to those two things:

Loving God and loving others. 

May you be blessed with both this Christmas season...

and every day...

With much love,

Beth

*Beth is a wife, homeschooling mother of 4, caregiving daughter, treasured friend and photography is her therapy, favorite hobby...