365 days of being Beautifully You...

"A positive self-esteem comes with knowing your truth, your reality, and arriving at a self-mastery that allows for resilience, pro-activity, and brilliance."  ~Rosie Molinary in Beautifully You: a daily guide to Radical Self-Acceptance

Parenting Vivace and supporting his efforts to release his emotional baggage as brought me full circle to the baggage I thought I had packed away and left behind. It brought to light things that haunt me in their own way. Vivace had 7 years of baggage and turmoil that he brought with him to our family. We have had to re-teach even the most basic concepts: "You are a kid, we will take care of you." If I tell him he is handsome he nods like an eager puppy ready to please, but if you wait a moment longer he lingers to ask, "You think I am handsome? Me? Look-good? True?" We are helping to shape his character, even his actions and choices by teaching him that he is loved/lovable and beautiful-just the way he is...We have to undo the negative messages he has accepted and teach him to love and treasure himself, as a child of God and a member of our family.

For many years I have heard the voice of fellow middle-schooler named Greg..."Thunder Thighs" and "Mother Theresa" and "Frizz Face," were some of his favorite ways too taunt me as a cheerleader, even shouting them in the middle of a routine or pep rally. I remember shortly after graduating college I confessed this still bothered me to a roommate and what she said shocked me, ..."at this point, it isn't Greg's voice, it is yours and you need to tell it to shut-up."

Many things that our children from 'hard backgrounds' or our own womb think about themselves is negative or destructive. As adults we have to be aware of media and peers but probably more importantly what we expose them to. Around the time Primo was 18 months old, I realized the most beautiful I have ever felt was in the reflection of her eyes. I could do no wrong, she knew every inch of my face and could find me in any crowd. She played with my dangling curls and patted my cheeks. She laughed, smiled and babbled back at everything I would say. I knew in that moment-I was beautiful, I felt it to the depths of my soul. I also knew, I would do whatever it took to make her feel that way too.

We are cautious to provide books in the home with various shades of skin, soft curls and braids, every range of caramel eyes are provided. We talk about how beautiful all three of our girls' hair is-each with their own style of curl. We point out many people of varying races and how beautiful they each are...all in hopes of building their self-esteem to handle the blows of critical people and narrow-minded media. However, the best thing we can do for our children all comes down to one simple phrase: "Monkey see, Monkey Do." The best thing I can do to ensure my girls have strong sense of self and value-is to demonstrate those very things.

Somewhere along the way I allowed Greg to be louder than my inner-voice. I allowed his words of ignorance and criticism to be louder than the voice of my Father that created me in HIS image.
Genesis 1:27-30 

Rosie was in our travel group when we flew to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia- in January of 2009. She and her husband were meeting and picking up their son the same week as we were meeting and picking up our boys. I was drawn to her-she has a radiance and joy that is from a place of peace and warmth. She is one of those unique individuals that truly listen when you are talking to them, not formulating their next part of the conversation but soaking in your emotions behind the words. I am so glad God allowed our lives to cross paths and that I now call her a friend. She has thoughtfully written Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance and I have enjoyed each daily exercise I have read so far. She realizes that we need to teach our children by example, so they do not have the same depth of struggles we experienced. The activities are thought provoking and as you go through the book she shares stories from her life and experiences that blend in perfectly and build a glimpse into her life as well.

*We are in the book! This blogspot inspired 2 of the entries you will find within the first 3 weeks of reading....BUY the book, then find us!